Halloween is around the corner, and it’s time to start preparing your costume. Here are eight options that will have your friends saying “Wow! Not only are you hilarious, but you also read local news!” and out-of-towners asking, “what in the actual f*** is that?”
Franklin the Brookland Bear:
Find yourself a cheap bear onesie, then climb the closest tree and sit in it for the whole party. Bonus points if you wear this iconic Franklin the bear T-shirt over the onesie.
A Secret Service Officer & FDOTUS Couples Costume:
One of you is a Secret Service officer with a bloodied arm, the other is a Biden’s German Shepherd Commander, with a ripped hand in its mouth. Aww, sooo cute.
McDonald's Mambo Sauce Packet:
Wear maroon from head to toe with a giant colored paper star on your shirt. Write Mambo Sauce across your chest but cross out the “a” and replace it with an “u.”
This is basically just a normal chicken costume, but you carry a beaker around and refer to José Andrés as “zaddy.”
Metro Group Costume:
Each person dresses up as a different Metro line by wearing the dedicated color. The blue line representative should show up disheveled and caked in mud per its recent derailment.
Just don’t show up. But, if required, wear red and get in everybody's way.
A DC Parking Sign:
Wear a knee-length necklace of conflicting parking rules and charge people for standing next to you. Bonus points if you stick a bunch of old (hopefully paid) parking tickets to your back.
An oldie, but a goodie. Wear an oversized suit, carry eight cups of Starbucks, and bring every conversation to how you summer with the Kennedy’s.